Ask Kari: Why is my father hiding his new relationship from me?

Dear Kari,

Recently I went to my dad’s house for dinner, and I accidentally met a woman that I think he is dating, as she was leaving his house when I arrived, and I saw them kiss. This was a shock to me, as I did not even know my dad had was dating, or maybe that he even has a girlfriend. He blew off the whole encounter. My parents have been divorced for five years at this point, so if he is dating I would be fine with it, but I am wondering why he is hiding her from me. What do you think?

Bewildered Daughter

Dear Bewildered Daughter,

It seems that it was both a surprise to you and your father that you met someone he is dating.  I am guessing that he is not ready yet to introduce you two formally. This may be because he is still trying to establish where the relationship is going, and how he feels about her. Based on your parents being divorced for five years already and you have not yet met anyone he liked, he appears to be cautious about who meets his children. Take that as a compliment, as he values you and your time more than having you meet people he barely knows himself. I would follow-up with him and ask him further questions about his dating life, while also sharing with him that you would be open to meeting someone he really cared about.


As published in the February 2018 issue of Connections.


About Kari:

Kari O’Neill, MSW, LICSW, is a licensed independent clinical social worker and a resident of Issaquah Highlands.

This column is for entertainment purposes only. If you are in crisis and in need of support please contact the Crisis Clinic at 866-427-4747.

Email your Ask Kari questions to [email protected] or use our online form. All email user personal information will remain confidential and not be published.