Ask Kari: My sister has no social life — how can I get her out of the house?

Dear Kari,

My sister is 38 years old and lives alone. She rarely socializes with others and mostly talks about her dog. She has zero dating life. I am worried about her and her future. She says that she wants to meet someone and have a family, but she never goes out with friends or even dates. How can I get my sister out of her house and help her fall in love with someone?

Worried Sis

Dear Worried Sis,

It sounds like you care for your sister very much and wish her many of life’s good experiences. Unfortunately, you cannot make your sister’s life for her. She has to want a full life and then open herself up through action to get that big life. I do recommend that you continue to invite her to activities with you to build her social connections with others. I also recommend that you positively encourage her to volunteer, take a class, serve on a committee, anything that gets her involved in additional activities. And then let it be. Your sister has self-determination. If she truly wants to build out her life to the point of marriage and a family, she will need to be the one who walks out her front door and takes action by cutting through her fear of the unknown. The good stuff in life always involves risk, but frequently offers us the special moments that carry us to a bigger life. I wish her well. Good luck!


As published in the June 2016 issue of Connections.


About Kari:

Kari O’Neill, MSW, LICSW, is a licensed independent clinical social worker and a resident of Issaquah Highlands.

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