Ask Kari: My old high school boyfriend contacted me (I’m married) — what should I do?

Dear Kari,

My old boyfriend from high school found me on Facebook recently and contacted me. I was so thrilled to hear from him, as sometimes I have thought about him and I have wondered what we missed out on had we remained together. I am married now with kids, but keep wondering if maybe he is actually the love of my life. What should I do?


Dear Smitten,

You did not state how long you have been married or how many children you have. I assume you have put your family’s feelings on the back burner in regards to this situation. Facebook is a great way to re-connect with old friends and family, but I suggest you practice caution when considering changing your and your family’s life based on some old feelings toward a high school boyfriend. Day in and day out living in a marriage takes work; so does putting your children’s needs before your own. Mature people base their choices on deeply felt emotions, not on an email from an old flame. If your marriage is not something you want to remain in, you need to make that choice prior to connecting with your old high school boyfriend. It’s unwise into expect that an imaginary relationship with old love will go smoothly in reality.


As published in the October 2013 issue of Connections.


About Kari:

Kari O’Neill, MSW, LICSW, is a licensed independent clinical social worker and a resident of Issaquah Highlands.

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