Ask Kari: My best friend always brags about her kids — should I tell her they smoke pot and skip school?

Dear Kari,

My best friend is always bragging about her three children to me and anyone else that will listen. But, she doesn’t know that all three of her kids are actually smoking pot and skipping school. Should I tell her the truth?


Dear BFF,

What is your goal in telling your friend “the truth”? Is it to help her accept the truth about her children? Or is it to knock down her vision of her children? A good approach is to tell your friend that you heard stories about her children and are concerned about what you heard. Then, delicately repeat what you were told and by whom. What your friend does next is her choice. Either she will follow up with her children, get to the bottom of the stories, and, if needed deal appropriately with her children. Or your friend will keep what she heard to herself in an effort to protect her image of her perfect family. Whatever choice she makes, you serve your friendship best by handling the situation with care.


As published in the October 2013 issue of Connections.


About Kari:

Kari O’Neill, MSW, LICSW, is a licensed independent clinical social worker and a resident of Issaquah Highlands.

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