Ask Kari: How can I convince my friend to stop over-sharing details of his personal life on Facebook?

Dear Kari,

My friend overshares on Facebook. He posts everything, I mean everything about his life. Where he had lunch, what the doctor told him, where he spent his day, how he feels about politics, what happened when he went out on a date, his feelings about his ex, his job, etc. I have tried to suggest that he cut back on what he shares, but he will not listen. I am worried that people are judging him, even mocking him for his poor choices in life. How can I get through to my friend that he needs to stop it?

--Concerned Friend

Dear Concerned Friend,

It sounds like you care greatly for your friend and your intentions are to make sure that your friend is viewed well by others. I would suggest that you pick a good time to talk with your friend, when you have the time and space for a private conversation. Then, I suggest you tell your friend that you genuinely care for him and feel that he shares too much information via social media and it is impacting how others view him. Remind your friend that they are someone who matters to you and you respect them. Then, state that they deserve this respect from others, but if they share too much information on a regular basis they become a target for commentary and it can go poorly for them in the long term. Say the whole thing at once, for a stronger impact. Good luck!


As published in the November 2017 issue of Connections.

About Kari:

Kari O’Neill, MSW, LICSW, is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker and the owner and Clinical Director of Issaquah Highlands Counseling Group (IHCG), which is now Kari O’Neill Counseling.

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