Ask Kari: My husband is chatting with strange women on Facebook — what should I do?

Dear Kari,

I am so upset, I was paging through my husband’s Facebook page and I noticed that he chats with a woman I don’t know on his page quite frequently. When I asked him about her, he refused to engage with me. I feel that he owes me this information, since I am his wife. Now, I haven’t been able to think about anything else for the past week, as I am concerned that he is having an affair. What should I do?

--Left In The Dark

Dear Left In The Dark,

You must be very upset by this matter if it is all you have been able to think about all week. I do feel that your husband owes you some information in regards to who this woman is and what their connection is. Partners share their lives together and that includes email/social media posts. I would calmly state to him that keeping secrets in your relationship about big and small matters is not acceptable to you. Then ask him again about who this Facebook friend is. Share with him your need to immediately know otherwise you will only be able to assume the worst, which is that he is having some type of affair with her. Afterward, if you find yourself still experiencing relationship challenges, I suggest that you seek the support of a therapist for martial counseling for both of you.


About Kari:

Kari O’Neill, MSW, LICSW, is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker and the owner and Clinical Director of Issaquah Highlands Counseling Group (IHCG), which is now Kari O’Neill Counseling.

This column is for entertainment purposes only. If you are in crisis and in need of support please contact the Crisis Clinic at 866-427-4747.