Ask Kari: My husband didn’t acknowledge our wedding anniversary – what should I do?

Dear Kari,

It was just my twelfth anniversary and my husband did not do anything around our special day. I did not even get a “Happy Anniversary” acknowledgment or an anniversary card. I am fed up and tired of being hurt by his callous behavior. What should I do?

Done Being a Married Fool

Dear Done Being a Married Fool,

It sounds like you have been disappointed with your marriage for a long time, and the gap in recognition for your anniversary is the latest hurt. I recommend that you pick a good time to talk with your husband about your true feelings, and share with him what you hope to be different moving forward in the relationship. If you have already spoken to your husband about your feelings and it has gone nowhere, I recommend that you make an appointment with a counselor for couple’s counseling. If your husband is not interested in going to couple’s counseling with you, then make an appointment for yourself for support. A counselor can help you review your relationship history inclusive of what drew you both together, what has gone well, what has gone poorly, and what needs to change. You can also discuss your hopes and agreements moving forward. I recommend that you act sooner instead of later for your own wellness. I wish you well in gaining your voice.


As published in the September 2017 issue of Connections.


About Kari:

Kari O’Neill, MSW, LICSW, is a licensed independent clinical social worker and a resident of Issaquah Highlands.

This column is for entertainment purposes only. If you are in crisis and in need of support please contact the Crisis Clinic at 866-427-4747.

Email your Ask Kari questions to [email protected] or use our online form. All email user personal information will remain confidential and not be public.