Ask Kari: How can I get someone I once dated to stop contacting me?

Dear Kari,

I went out on a date with a woman one time and now she sends me texts almost daily and tries to talk with me. At first I was interested in her, but after we went out I discovered during the date that she was not someone who I would want to spend more time with. I have tried to be polite and just drop her by not responding to her texts, but she will not take the hint. What can I do to get her to stop contacting me?

Running for the Hills

Dear Running for the Hills,

By your account, all the signs of your disinterest are being missed by this woman. I suggest that you directly telephone her or email her (no texting). Tell her in a clear, concise statement that you wish her well but you are not interested in dating her again nor do you want to have a relationship with her anytime in the future. Be polite and kind in your manner, and stick to these main statements. It should become clear to her that she should move on from seeing you as a potential mate. If for some reason this direct manner does not work, I suggest that you block her from your phone and email and move on yourself. 


As published in the March 2015 issue of Connections.


About Kari:

Kari O’Neill, MSW, LICSW, is a licensed independent clinical social worker and a resident of Issaquah Highlands.

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