Ask Kari: Do I always have to bring something when my neighbor invites us to their home?

Dear Kari,

My neighbor invites my husband and I over for drinks frequently and always asks that we bring a bottle of wine and an appetizer. I like visiting with them, but I feel that an invite should not include requirements. What do you think?

Socially Put Off

Dear Socially Put Off,

You stated that you like visiting with your neighbors but not the requirements that are attached to the invite.  I suggest that you refocus your attention from having to bring food and wine when you visit, to the company that you get to enjoy during the visit. Maybe your neighbors have some financial restraints and appreciate your contribution, and that’s why they ask. Or, maybe they always bring items to friends’ homes when they visit and simply are not aware that their request for you to do the same could be off-putting. So enjoy your friends and their hospitality and consider your contributions a gift to be enjoyed by all, including you.


As published in the May 2014 issue of Connections.


About Kari:

Kari O’Neill, MSW, LICSW, is a licensed independent clinical social worker and a resident of Issaquah Highlands.

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