Ask Kari: How can I get my family to help with chores around the house?

Dear Kari,

I am so tried about my home situation. I have a husband and two teenage children, yet no one will help with chores around the house. I feel like I am the only one who notices the need to clean the house, feed our pets, and pick up the dirty laundry. How can I get my family to change and start helping out?

Tired of it All

Dear Tired of it All,

It sounds like you are feeling like you are not respected in your home. I recommend putting your feelings on paper, map out what you would like to be different, and ask your family to sit down for a family meeting. Clearly and calmly state to them that you will no longer be covering all the chores in the home and instead you will all be functioning as a family unit moving forward. Prior to the meeting, I would bring your husband into the loop and request that he both make the necessary changes and support your message. Then, collectively map out at the meeting who will cover which task each day, leave no room for interpretation. Remind your family that it will function from the place that everyone can and will contribute on a regular basis moving forward for the happiness of the family unit. Good luck, stay focused on the goal for change and it will eventually become the new normal for everyone.


As published in the March 2014 issue of Connections.


About Kari:

Kari O’Neill, MSW, LICSW, is a licensed independent clinical social worker and a resident of Issaquah Highlands.

This column is for entertainment purposes only. If you are in crisis and in need of support please contact the Crisis Clinic at 866-427-4747.

Email your Ask Kari questions to [email protected] or use our online form. All email user personal information will remain confidential and not be public.