Ask Kari: My husband is unhappy with our marriage – what should I do?

Dear Kari,

I have been married for 5 years. I thought that my husband and I had a good marriage, but he recently told me that he is not happy with our sex life. He says that he is bored with the ways things are. When I asked him what that meant, he told me “he wants to be more intimate and adventurous”. I don’t know what to do to make things better. What do you think I should do?

Loving and Confused

Dear Loving and Confused,

I would ask your husband to sit down with you and share his feelings in more detail with you. Is he looking for a change in routine during your intimate moments, or is it something more (i.e. he is no longer attracted to you or committed to your marriage). Also, reflect on your own happiness level; do you feel that your relationship could be better? If so, tell him how you feel, then both of you discuss what you would like to bring into the relationship (more date nights, more activities out) to help reconnect and move your love forward.


As published in the February 2014 issue of Connections

About Kari:

Kari O’Neill, MSW, LICSW, is a licensed independent clinical social worker and a resident of Issaquah Highlands.

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