Ask Kari: My neighbor wants to host a playdate for our kids, but her house is filthy – what should I do?

Dear Kari,

I really like my neighbor and our children get along well with each other, but her house is filthy. I usually try to host play dates at my house, but she keeps pressing me to come over to her home instead. I can’t take seeing the week old dishes in her sink and dirty diapers and trash on her floors. Help, I can’t keep putting off letting her host us at her home.
Grossed Out Neighbor
Dear Grossed Out Neighbor,
You are in a delicate social dynamic. You like you neighbor and her children, but unfortunately her level of cleanliness differs from your own. Unfortunately, I do not believe that telling her your true feelings will go over well. Instead, I think that you need to continue practicing your good manners and make excuses as to why going to her home is not preferable. Maybe you can suggest that you meet in the park or another location to expand your play date locations and see if she loses interest in hosting.


As published in the June 2013 issue of Connections.


About Kari:

Kari O’Neill, MSW, LICSW, is a licensed independent clinical social worker and a resident of Issaquah Highlands.

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