Ask Kari: After 15 years of marriage, what should I do if my husband wants to rethink our marriage?
Dear Kari,
My husband and I are about to celebrate our 15th anniversary, but instead of going away together to celebrate, he told me that he needs some time alone. I asked him what that meant and he said, “He needs to think about things”. What should I do? I am devastated.--Broken Hearted
Dear Broken Hearted,
I am sorry that you were planning a nice future anniversary celebration with your husband and he expressed different feelings to you. I recommend that you have a very crucial conversation with you husband, beginning with how you both feel about each other and your marriage overall (e.g. do you enjoy each others company, are you both attracted to each other, is there a desire to be intimate with your partner, do you want to remain married in the future). I know that this may seem like a hard conversation to have and it may even seem scary for you to even start, but it is a needed one. Hopefully the two of you can discuss how you both feel about each other and your marriage and come to some agreements and hopes for the future. If the conversation struggles, I recommended that you seek out marital counseling for additional support.
–Kari
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About Kari: Dr. O’Neill is a Doctor of Social Work, and a board-certified licensed independent clinical social worker. Dr. O’Neill completed her undergraduate and graduate education at the University of Washington and her doctorate at Tulane University, and currently serves as an affiliated medical staff member at Swedish Hospital Issaquah.